It’s so entertaining when parents give children ‘spoof gifts’ before giving them the real item, even more so when kids request the craziest things.
If you are a fan of Jimmy Kimmel, and the halloween-candy pranks he shares on his talk show, this article will hit a nerve with you.
If you have not seen it, it is quite entertaining. Parents record the moment when they tell their children that they ate all their Halloween candy – right after they went to bed. It would be extremely inappropriate for any parent to do this, far-fetched of course, so it’s a great gag. Besides, parents endure way too much not to have some fun at their kid’s expense once in a while.
And who doesn’t love a goof spoof? Who didn’t watch Punk’d back in the day?
When it comes to Christmas and the holiday season, kids will always push their limits. The best scenarios are requests for items that are way beyond a child’s age. Case in point, my Kindergartener is asking for a Nintendo Switch. A few of his friends already have this gaming system, and with time limits in place, there’s no harm when parents buy this for their little tikes.
But my wife and I will not. Our son can wait a few more years before he acquires a gaming console. We’d rather buy toys that are used for building, creating things, tinkering, and experimenting.
That got me thinking of a spoof gift I could buy for him. I came up with the idea of buying a used ‘swatch’ of cloth material or an old/used Swatch watch. I could say… “I thought you said swatch, not switch!”
I could also buy him a physical switch, one used for lights. That may sound evil on some level, but it would be a great Kimmel-esque spoof.
For kids who push it, and if you are already planning to buy some terrific holiday gifts, here’s the official:
2019 Father Apprentice ‘Spoof Gifts’ for Children.
“I want an iPhone!”
Introduce your son/daughter to a brand new V-Tech phone, complete with an “I” written on it! Yes, this new ‘I-Phone’ may not be the 11th generation but once it’s tethered to the nearest phone jack, it makes calls, which represents the primary use for every phone! Apps are not available, black sharpie not included (which parents use to write the “I” on the top of the receiver).
“I want a drum set!”
Do you want your kid banging a loud instrument that will shake the walls of your home? Start first… with the very first… version of drum sticks ever conceived by mankind! Let him or her kick-off their new drumming hobby with these cleaned/dried turkey drumsticks, fresh from Thanksgiving! They can bang away on a book or perhaps a cardboard box just like a caveman while they perfect their mastery of rhythm!
“I want an Xbox!”
Looking for an item that will provide your son or daughter with endless entertainment, a console that will consume every waking hour of his/her life? Get them this handy ‘X’ box, which they can use to store memorabilia, keepsakes, and treasured items! Marking any box with an ‘X’ will do and no need to box this gift – it conveniently comes packaged as a package!
“I want a car!”
Oh, I bet you do, junior! Why bother to consider the insurance premium you will pay… when you don’t have to! Introducing the brand… new… Matchbox Tesla. Junior can take it for a spin around the neighborhood, the living-room floor or even steer it around that ‘Xbox’ you just gave him/her!
Inspire the next generation to go green and if they don’t like it, they may fancy a Minivan Matchbox. Available at fine retailers like Amazon.com!
Yes, you have to use your best judgment – buying a fake iPhone for my Kindergartener might backfire on me and I may have to contend with a meltdown of epic proportions come Christmas morning. But for older children you can have some fun.
I speak from firsthand experience. That ‘drum stick’ example noted above? I sh*t you not, my grandma gave me to two turkey legs, packaged in a box, and gave them to me on Christmas morning.
But I was already playing drums at eleven-years-old when I received this ‘gift,’ and yes, my son has his own kit, for the record. That’s the whole point. The holidays are all about family, love and being together – but a good gag gift represents a great tradition.
The Rookie Father 
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