The Art of ‘Ghosting’ – A New Trick That’s a Treat for Everyone

If you have not enjoyed this new tradition, do so immediately. There’s no better way to kill time and to espouse the value of tomfoolery.

When did life get so complicated? So stressed, when work became an all-consuming experience in the evenings and on the weekends? When commuting became the bane of our existence?

Who cares. It’s time for fun. Drop the smartphone, grab a bag of candy with a ‘ghosting’ note attached and unleash a family-oriented episode of Mission Impossible!

Ghosting did not exist when I was a kid, so props to younger Gen X parents and the Millennials for coming up with this concept.

Ghosting is simply a ding-dong-ditch with a treat. It requires the following:

  • A bag of candy
  • A note
  • A child who is quicker than not
  • A fast car

Fill the bag with treats and make sure to include an anonymous note that indicates how the victim got gagged. “You’ve been ghosted, sucka!” Your child can write it but I advise not to let him/her do so. That way, you have more time to ghost people.

Roll up to a family friend’s home, one of your kid’s friends or all of them if possible. Have your child sneak up and drop the bag on the front doorstep, and then…

… instruct them to run for his/her life back to the car! Rush them and do everything you can NOT to get caught. The key is to pull away as fast as you can without crashing the car.

I find it very rewarding to drive off and leave a loud and evil laugh in the process. That got a rise out of my son.

Getting caught sucks. In one episode, we saw a friend’s grill lit and smoking when we crept up on his front door. I knew time would be tight. I leaned forward and pointed to the doormat. “Drop it… drop it there-” just as the dad emerged with a pair of tongs to tend to his grill.


Another family we know very well was too quick to answer the door, and I knew they would do so. My son is not Usain Bolt and sure enough… out steps a mother and son, in tow no less, within 10 seconds of ringing the bell.

They live in a nice and spacious home, how the f*ck did they move so fast! Damn, busted again!

But the other 18 homes we hit? We got em’… we got em’ good!

And we’re going out again tonight. Take no prisoners, my friends, and stuff all your kid’s friends with oodles of candy.

I’ll admit, I hope payback is a bitch. Who doesn’t love free candy delivered to your door? Someone ping Jeff Bezos, because Amazon Prime can’t compete with the speed of this experience!

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